


Blue Open Eyed

by Swindle



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Beta Wanted, Bromance, Drabble Sequence, Flash Fic, Introspection, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-10 13:38:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13502630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swindle/pseuds/Swindle
Summary: The series seen through Sherlock's eyes. Missing moments and little instants.Johnlock evolution mostly, but other relationships as well.





	1. Marry to my Work

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. This is a serie of drabbles or flash-fic that should go through every episode of Sherlock.  
> The idea is following with thoughts and missing moments the evolution of Sherlock's relationships (mostly with John).  
> There will be a gif and a quote (usually from a song) to match the drabble.  
> The title would be a words game between "blue-eyed" and "open-eyed"...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first one, which kind of start all of it. It's general, while every other one is set in a specific episode.  
> Hope you like it!
> 
> [Set: general, somewhere between 3th and 4th series.  
> Drabble: 114 words  
> Initial quote: Gary Jules, Mad World]

 

 

 

 _*And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad_  
_The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had*_

 

 

 _I consider myself married to my work_ \- you used to say.  
Then, he became part of the work.  
He got under your skin, without you noticing.  
Without your brilliant brain has planning it.  
You don’t know what you hoped would happen after your return.  
Or maybe you didn’t know before your suicide.  
Maybe you realized it while you were far from London, far from him.  
Maybe you do know it, but you can’t allow yourself to acknowledge.  
You know in your dreams.  
You know it there, where he’s still next to you.

He made you better, able to love.  
And for this, he made you infinitely more lonely and miserable.  
Worse than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Sherlock Holmes and his universe don't belong to me. Sherlock is own by BBC, Holmes by sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who apparently hated so much his creature to want to give him to the world... and the world is grateful for it.  
> I only hold on to him and to the fun of imagining him dancing eternally.
> 
> Note: English is not my first language... so, I'm sorry for any mistakes!


	2. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: The Rembrandts, I'll be there for you  
> Flash-fic: 183 words  
> Set: 1x01

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it begins.  
> I thought to post already, because they are so short.  
> Feel free to comment. Enjoy!

 

 

_**** _

_*Seems you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me_  
_Someone I’ll always laugh with_  
_Even at my worst, I’m best with you*_

 

 

When I was a kid, I asked my mother what was a friend.  
“Someone special” she said. “Yeah, but… how can I know if I have found it?”  
She smiled and whispered “It’s a secret, but I’ll tell you”.  
It was a three-rule secret.

1\. Someone you share interests with - that was a hard one, not many kids like so much the pirates.  
_I asked John if he wanted to see more horrible deaths. He said yes._  
_I said dangerous, he came immediately._  
_We run, together._

2\. Someone who likes you - that was difficult, usually people tell me to piss off.  
_John became my flatmate. John likes my violin._  
_John said my deductions were amazing._  
_John thinks I’m brilliant._

3\. Someone you like - that was impossible, everybody is so slow.  
_John killed a man to save my life._  
_John listened to me, came for me._  
_We laugh together. He makes me feel good._

I never found a person who matched all three rules.  
Yet, now I can tell to that kid: “It took a while, but I think I found someone special. To me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss them soooo much.


	3. Transport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: Whitney Houston, Count on me (not as romantic as it seems... the song is actually about friendship)  
> (Pure) Drabble: 100 words  
> Set: 1x01

 

 

_*There’s a place inside all of us_  
_Where out faith in love begins_  
_You should reach to find the truth*_

 

 

“The brain is what counts, everything else is just transport”.  
John gives you a strange glance at that.  
He’s concerned you’re not eating. But that’s not a problem. Never is.  
And it’s not what it really means. Not at all.  
The brain is important. Solve cases, enjoy the riddles, be clever, don’t be bored.  
The body is just a container. So, why should you bother about pleasures as food or sex? Girlfriend, boyfriend: not your area. Not your interest.  
Regarding the heart… you don’t have one, they say.  
_And they’re right._

“You might consider refueling” he says, worried.  
_Until you found one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did cheated a little bit with this one, because the conversation between Sherlock and John (“The brain is what counts, everything else is just transport” - “You might consider refueling”) actually happened in the Unaired Pilot, and not in _A Study in Pink._  
>  During the dinner at Angelo's, if you are interested. But it was too good to be left behind.
> 
> The gif is from the Unaired Pilot as well. I choose it because it was so funny (how young and lovely was Benedict here?!), and as an Easter Egg, considering what it means "to have dinner" in this show... here but moreover in the 2x01, with The Woman.


	4. Archenemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: Bruce Springsteen, Highway Patrolman  
> Flash-fic: 161 words  
> Set: 1x01 (end)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock/Mycroft relationship.
> 
> Please please please, let me know what you think about it! :)

 

 

_*I catch him when he’s strayin’ like any brother would_  
_Man turns his back on his family well he just ain’t no good*_

 

 

"So, why do you call him that?"  
They’re having Chinese, in the corner restaurant. He wants to show off and guess the fortune cookies, but John is still eating.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Your _archenemy_ " he answers, putting a spring roll in his mouth.  
"He always wants to control me".  
"Yeah, I understood that. But _really_ , what did he do?"  
He shrugs: "He was a bad big brother".  
John laughs: "Did he break your balloon? Or cheat at board games?"  
_He told me I was slow and stupid. He made me believe I would never have friends._  
Sherlock sips his water and doesn’t answer.  
"Seriously, what could he have done to still have this feud?"  
"He was a bully".  
"But you were kids. And he’s your brother!"  
John continues to explain how he finds their relationship silly, but Sherlock is not listening anymore.  
_Yes_ , he thinks, _a brother who convinced me I was unable to love and unworthy to be loved._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love their relationship, and I love Mycroft, really.  
> This bit comes from an interview to Mark Gatiss in which he told the relationship between the two brothers is based on the one with his own brother. He said his brother bullied him, and even beat him. I don't think Mycroft would ever be that physical, but I think he did some damages to Sherlock. Yes, he was young and probably had his problems too, but... anyhow, that's why. At least in the beginning, for Sherlock.


	5. Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: Ellie Goulding, Anything Could Happen  
> Flash-fic: 380 words  
> Set: between 1x01 and 1x02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock/Molly relationship.  
> Pleeeeease I'd really like to know your thoughts about it!
> 
> NOTE: I'm looking for a Beta for this and another Sherlock fic I'm writing. Anybody? :D

 

 

__

_*Baby, I’ll give you everything you need_  
_But I don’t think I need you*_

 

  
"Sherlock".  
"Mh?"  
They’re in the kitchen, John is having a cup of tea, while Sherlock is bent over the microscope, examining God only knows what.  
"Sherlock!" John shouts, "It’s ten minutes I’m calling you".  
"Sorry, what?" He replies, without stopping his work.  
"I was talking about the first time we met".  
"Mh".  
"The young woman, Molly Hooper?"  
"What about her?"  
"I was wondering… How much do you understand".  
Sherlock looks up a little bit.  
"I understand _everything_ ".  
"Even emotion? Human emotions, that is".  
"Obviously", he shrugs, going back to the microscope.  
John stares at him for a while, sipping the tea.  
"So, you do _see_ Molly’s feelings", he says with a smirk. It’s said as a statement, but he’s actually asking.  
"You can’t see people’s feelings, John", he states.  
John smirks wider.  
He looks up at him, raising an eyebrow. He wants to ask him what does he mean, but then he would have to admit that perhaps he doesn’t really understand everything, wouldn’t he?  
"Care to elaborate?", he finally settles for.  
John smiles.  
"She wore lipstick and then she took it off, right?"  
"Yeah. A pity, I thought it was a big improvement on her lips".  
"I know, you did actually told her that".  
Sherlock is starting to be annoyed by the conversation.  
"Your point is?" He asks, with a hand gesture.  
"Why did she do that, Sherlock?"  
"She said she was refreshing a bit. And then, she thought it wasn’t working for her".  
John laughs.  
"Just as I thought. No, Sherlock".  
"No?"  
"She was flirting", John tilts his head, "With _you_ " he adds pointedly.  
Sherlock frowns.  
"You know, it’s how people let know they have a crush on someone and…"  
"I _know_ what flirting is".  
"Right. But you didn’t notice she likes you".  
"She didn’t ever say anything".  
John laughs again.  
He approaches him and pats him on the shoulder.  
"Oh god, Sherlock" he says, "You really can’t know everything".  
"Thank god I have you".  
At that, John laughs harder. He shakes his head and goes out of the kitchen.  
Sherlock stares into the air. He was being more serious than John had realized.  
_Interesting_ , he thinks.

 

_***_

_"You change your hair. It’s good, it… suits you better this way"._  
Molly smiles back at him and does what he asked.  
_Interesting indeed_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *«You change your hair. It’s good, it… suits you better this way»: this is a quote from Sherlock in the 1x02.
> 
> I noticed, in _A Study in Pink_ , Sherlock doesn't understand Molly's flirting, while in _The Blind Banker_ he flirts with her just to make her do what he wants.  
>  So, what is changed in so little time? John is :D


	6. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: Billy Joel, A Matter of Trust  
> Flash-fic: 739 words  
> Set: 1x02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading... I'm here craving for your comments ;)  
> Thanks to [zigostia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zigostia) for the help! :)

 

__

_*I’ve lived long enough to have learned_  
_The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned*_

 

  
The Diogenes Club is as silent and boring as a grey Sunday afternoon.  
Mycroft, elegantly sit on the armchair, moves his hand slightly, pointing at the chair in front of him.  
Sherlock just raises an eyebrow. He has no intention of staying here longer than necessary.  
Mycroft sighs, yet does not comment.  
“How is domestic life, little brother?” he asks instead.  
Sherlock rolls his eyes.  
“Good. Did you really call me here for this?”  
Mycroft crosses his legs with a smirk.  
“I'm merely fulfilling my duty as a brother and checking on your new home situation”.  
“We are flatmates, that’s all of it”, he hisses between his teeth.  
“Of course you are”.  
Sherlock straightens his back and turns to leave. He didn’t come here to let Mycroft make fun of him.  
“We received the answer to your message, from the Indians,” says Mycroft, making him stop at the door.  
Sherlock’s eyes sparkle towards his brother.  
“What did they say?”  
“The Jaria diamond, it’s where you had deduced it’d be”.  
“Obviously. That’s all?”  
Mycroft nods, joining his fingertips under his chin.  
“You could have texted me”.  
“Why didn’t you send Dr. Watson here, on your behalf?”  
Sherlock shrugs: “You didn’t say what this was about”.  
“One more reason to send him. You never meet me if not strictly necessary”.  
“I’m losing interest, Mycroft. What do you want?”  
“You didn’t involve him in the Indians case”.  
Sherlock sighs: “You _did_ call me to question my private life”.  
“Answer me, and I won’t anymore”.  
He raises a shoulder: “I didn’t need any help”.  
“Perhaps. But you also didn’t tell him you fought with them in Baker Street itself.”  
“How do you know?”  
“I know everything”.  
Sherlock snorts.  
"I read Dr. Watson's blog."  
Sherlock moans: "You too".  
Mycroft smile is smug: "He worships you".  
"Hardly".  
“ _He’s_ , and I’m quoting, _the cleverest person I’ve ever met. He’s extraordinary_ ”.  
“Have you only read his blog or did you more likely learned it by heart?” He scoffs.  
“You’re living with him, giving him your money to shop, eating together, and asking for his help with your ridiculous job. But you didn’t tell him this. I wonder why”.  
Sherlock sets his jaw: “That’s none of your business”.  
Mycroft scans him with an intense look.  
“Did you want to make fun of him? Lie to him?”  
“This is rubbish”.  
“Did you want to spare him an unnecessary peril?"  
_No_ , Sherlock thinks, _he craves danger_.  
“Don't you feel to share with him every one of your cases?”  
_No, I like his aid and company._  
“Thus, what is the reason, Sherlock?”  
He loses patience, raising his arms as well as his voice: “I don’t know, all right?”  
Mycroft gazes at him in warning and Sherlock lowers his voice, yet he cannot lose his troubled tone: “John was out doing the shopping when the Indian came. We wrestled and I defeated him. When John came back, he had had some problems and… I simply didn’t tell him. He accused me of not having done anything all morning, and instead of proving him wrong, I hid the clues”.  
He stops, realizing what he had said.  
“I don’t know why, Mycroft. Do you?” he jokes, trying to regain control.  
“As a matter of fact, I do”.  
“What?” He snaps.  
Mycroft takes a few seconds to settle better in the armchair. Deliberately.  
Sherlock clenches his fists, holding back. He can't give in to him.  
“You're becoming fond of him,” he states, “And a part of you knows how dangerous it is. You know you can’t trust him”.  
“I can trust him”, he retorts.  
Mycroft nods: “Yes, you can now. But what will happen when he has made himself indispensable to you... and then leaves you?”  
“He won’t leave me,” he answers automatically.  
Mycroft raises his eyebrows, speaking with a subtle hint: “And how do you know?”  
Sherlock becomes silent.  
Mycroft continues in a gentler way: “I’m sorry, Sherlock, but this is the truth. He _will_ leave you. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week. But in the end, he will. It’s how it works. Trust _me_ ”.  
Mycroft tends towards him, offering a brush on his hand, dropped along his body.  
“I’m trying to help you. Don’t let him become too important for you. You can’t trust him”.  
He stares for a second at the point where his brother's hand is joined to his one in a light touch.  
Then he swallows and runs away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has become longer and more angst than expected, sorry.  
> It refers to John's blog. What Mycroft says is a direct quote, and it's there that John writes how Sherlock has "rejected" the diamond case. The rest is seen in the episode. Go read the blog, if you've never done it!


	7. Colleague

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote: L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea  
> Flash-fic: 189 words  
> Set: 1x02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in the bit they first arrive in the bank.  
> Hope you like it!  
> Thanks again to zigostia! :)

 

__

_'Oh, sometimes I think it is of no use to make friends._  
_They only go out of your life after awhile and leave a hurt that is worse than the emptiness before they came.'_

 

 

“This is my friend, John Watson”.  
“Friend?” Sebastian is surprised.  
You don’t have any time to answer, because John does it for you.  
“Colleague”, he states.  
“Right” Sebastian giggles.  
You slowly lower your eyes, frozen.  
_Colleague_ , the word has a bitter taste on your tongue.  
_Colleague, not friend_ , your brain repeats like a mantra.  
That’s all right.  
It’s true.  
You two live together, you’re flatmates.  
And John helps you with your cases.  
Thus, colleagues.  
He has simply specified your relation.  
Doesn’t mean anything.  
It’s all right.  
That’s better, in fact.  
It means you have a formal relationship. It means you don’t have to show any care for him, any more interest than strictly necessary.  
It doesn’t mean John doesn’t want to be your friend. Not at all.  
It means you don’t _have_ to be friends, right?  
Colleagues it’s more than enough.  
Colleagues is fine.  
You can cope with that.  
You said _friend_ in a too fast assumption.  
But it’s better this way.  
Sebastian sits in his armchair, and you and John take seats in front of him.  
_Colleagues is fine_.  
Right.  
Then, why does your heart hurt so much?


End file.
